you

and making some changes to the podcast. After today's episode, I think you're gonna know why. This is the Dear Creative Soul podcast. My name is Valerie McKeon. This is the 16th episode. I cannot believe it's been four months. If you have been listening for all four months, thank you so much for being here. If this is your first time listening, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. When I started the podcast, I honestly, I have not had a strategy behind this. I've just wanted to do it for fun because I felt like there are no rules. I have something to say and I'm going to do it imperfectly. And I started putting out episodes every Tuesday morning. Well, that started to feel bad. pressure. It started, I don't record far in advance. I like it just to be more in the moment when I have something I want to share. I'm not recording a ton of episodes. And so I am going to change things up and take my own advice that there are no rules and I can change. You are along for really just a grand experiment of trying this out. I'm not being tough. tied to anything with the podcast. I just want it to be fun and I want to be able to show up without pressure and give you the best that I can. So I am going to start putting out episodes whenever. It might be a couple times a week. It might end up being once a week. But instead of having this rigidity of every Tuesday morning, I'm going to do things a little bit differently and see what happens. I've been thinking about playing small and we hear that, don't play small. At one point in my life, I heard that phrase and I would think I have to go for these grandiose dreams that maybe society or culture thinks are worthwhile things to go for, success and don't play small. But I've since learned that's not the case at all. I almost took that phrase even out of my mind because I thought, well, small is good. In my career, I thought that I was playing big. I thought that I was taking risks and I did a lot of things that actually didn't even align with me and who I am. In 2016, for example, I opened a brick and mortar store and I thought that not playing small meant I should grow my business and hire a staff and a team and have this store and I thought, well, maybe I should open multiple stores and that's what it means to not play small, right? But I quickly found out that it wasn't for me. I was chasing something that that actually didn't feel that great when I had it. It wasn't in alignment with me. We ended up closing the store in 2018, realizing this very quickly. That actually brings me to another point, which is we often think that Everything we want is on the other side of some external circumstance or external achievement. And it just isn't the case. We may think that we want a certain thing, but what we actually want is the feeling that that we think that we are going to get when we achieve it. So for example, you might think that if I only had X amount of followers, then I will feel like I have value, like I have worth, I have something to say, something to put out there. We're going for that goal in this example, which would be followers for the feeling that that would give of feeling confident. Confidence, I think, is a big one. Another thing that I hear a lot of people get stuck with is the idea of being a full-time creative. It's easy to get stuck in this idea of if I was just a full-time creative, Everything that I want is on the other side of that. I'll feel validated. I'll feel legitimate. I'd feel confident. And we think that if we could just achieve that, then all of the problems would be solved. And I can tell you for sure that It is not on the other side. You feeling the way that you want to feel and having that confidence and validation is never going to come. Even on the other side of the most impressive, most... beautiful goal or external wonderful thing that could happen to you that you are telling yourself that is the thing that's going to make me feel like I've arrived and now I can do what I want to do. It's not going to come. It's not going to work that way. Another example, just from my own career, I've always held Martha Stewart Living Magazine up to this pinnacle of this is what it means to arrive. If you're in Martha Stewart Living, that's it. Well, that happened to me. I was in New York City. I met with the team. I developed this entire article, went back and forth with the editor for weeks, and it ended up that my article and my artwork was on the front page of Martha Stewart Living Magazine. Is that a very cool thing? Yes, it's great. I bought 20 issues that are sitting in a box now. I don't know what to do with them. It's still a very cool thing. However, It did not give me that feeling that I thought that it would. I didn't, did it give me all of this confidence where I felt like, oh, I arrived. I can now do whatever I want. No, it didn't. And no external circumstance or piece of validation is going to give you that feeling either, right? We have to take it for ourselves now in this present moment. Instead of chasing something that will give us that feeling, you have to feel that feeling now. Step up now. And this is what I learned. actually what it means to play small. It's not about chasing grandiose dreams and thinking that everything we want is just on the other side of that dream. Playing small means tamping yourself down now because there is not going to be a person or something that's going to happen that's going to call you forward and say, I pick you. I I think that you need to come forward and put your art out there. This is your permission slip to put your creativity out there. Put your voice out there. I'm choosing you. So now you have the confidence. You have the seal of approval to do that thing. It is not going to come. Everything that you want, the confidence that you want to feel, the feeling that you want to feel from anything external that you're chasing is here now. It's for you to stand up and take now without needing any permission. I've been thinking a lot about flowers because, well, let's face it, I think about flowers all the time. And it just so happens that today is the last frost date in my zone. I am itching to get outside and plant my beds. I'm so excited. You would never see a flower, or anything in nature for that matter, stop itself from blooming to its full potential. It's not going to stay small. It is just it only knows how to be authentically itself. It's going to bloom to its full potential. It's going to stand there and not wait to be picked even. It doesn't bloom so that somebody can notice the flower and pick it from the crowd and say, you know, you're the one. This is the best flower. I pick you. It doesn't look for people to give it all kinds of approval to think that it has worth it blooms because it is made to and you are made to bloom you aren't made to stay small in the bud phase and tell yourself, I can't do that yet. I need somebody to tell me it's okay. I need this thing, this validation before I can bloom. No, you do not serve anybody staying small, staying in the bud phase. You are made to bloom. Maybe there are people that have been in your life that have made you feel like it's better for you to stay small. They've made you feel like closing in and that you didn't have a voice to be heard. But in fact, when you blossom, it does everything. When you decide to stay small, it does nothing. It serves nobody. Nobody at all. Just like a flower, when it does bloom and blossom to its fullest potential, everything around it gets better. It produces pollen, the bees benefit. It's beautiful. It smells good. And then it goes to seed and produces an infinities amount of more flowers. I have... Well, I had violas on my deck in a pot. I didn't think they were going to overwinter. So when they died at the end of last season, I just threw it away. Well, lo and behold, I go out this spring underneath my deck where we have pea gravel in this fire pit area. And there were hundreds of little viola seedlings in the pea gravel. That one plant produced infinity's amount. And every blossom does that. You have the same capability in you. When you stay small, when you don't bloom, nothing happens. There is absolutely nobody that is served by that. But when you bloom without permission and you just take it because you were made to do that, You produce within you an infinity's amount of beauty. You never even know the far reach that your voice will have, that your creativity will have, what's needed, who you'll inspire. In light of that, one could even argue that creativity Keeping yourself small and tamping your voice down is actually selfish. It's keeping all of the beauty, all of the magic that's inside of you inside to yourself. And you feel that welling up, but then nope, you say, I'm not going to do it. I'm not worthy. I can't do it. The perfectionism, all of that, it actually becomes selfish. When you bloom, when you allow yourself to choose yourself And let yourself bloom to your capacity. It benefits everything. So just to wrap up, I want to encourage you again. There is nothing that's serving you by staying small. And we do that for a plethora of reasons. We think that just on the other side of this goal that you'll feel ready or that you'll feel good enough. Maybe perfectionism. You think, I'll be ready when this is perfect. It all is just stopping you from being seen. And being seen is scary and it's uncomfortable. But staying small is just soul crushing. Nothing will come from that. You are made to bloom. Let this be your permission. If you are waiting for that, you're waiting for a sign. Now is the time. We need your beauty. We need your voice. Thank you so much for being here, for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, I would be so honored if you would leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this. And if you share on Instagram, be sure to tag me at Valerie McKeon. I always love reposting. Thank you so much again. I'll talk to you again soon. Bye.